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Too often I think we overlook the “diamonds” in our own
backyard. At the recent ACPA conference
in So, I hope that you enjoy the following submissions…a suggestion: you might want to pick one to “chew on” for a day or so since there’s a lot to digest in a few words. Cheers to collective wisdom!
Jane Bost, CCAPS
Directorate/Newsletter Committee, The 1) I
came across this piece of advice from Benjamin Disraeli while reading one day
and it stuck: “The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share
your riches but to reveal to him his own.” For me, it sets a nice tone in
framing my work with clients. 2) “This
too shall pass”. 3) “And what is as important as knowledge?” asked
the mind. “Caring and seeing with the heart,” answered the soul. 4) When
I was doing my first year internship in the social work graduate program, I was
at Candlelighter's Childhood Cancer Foundation.
I wondered what I could say to any parent who had a child who had been
diagnosed with cancer or a parent who had a child that had died from
cancer. I was so concerned about this
issue, that I met with one of the social workers there whose own child had died
of cancer and I asked her this question. She shared that when her child died
that it was helpful if someone was "just present with me to witness my suffering/my
grief and if any words were said, it was only 'I am sorry' that was
helpful." 5)
I don't know if this is the BEST piece of advice... But
it certainly ranks up near the top for me.
Following are a couple of other related quotes: 6) The
quote I have is from Albert Camus, and I have it written on a little note card
that I wrote in 2001 when I was an intern and it says, “In the midst of winter
I finally learned there is in me an invincible summer.” It really helped me
during a very difficult period in my life/internship just survive it all. 7) I
had a cartoon on my desk the entire time I was in grad school that said: “Slow
and steady wins the race.” As a recovering procrastinator, I found it a helpful
reminder! 8)
"Sometimes you have to become a little oblivious
to others around you.": a response by a
psychologist when asked how she manages to balance professional work and
personal life while remaining so active and productive in both areas. 9)
"Be your best friend" 10) The
advice that has been the most helpful to me is a quote that is a part of my
email signature: "Our lives begin to end the day we are silent about
things that matter" - Martin Luther King, Jr. Whenever I feel silenced by oppression, I
remember this and find my voice. 11) “Should've,
could've, would've but didn't, so move on Chanda Corbett! Live your life today
to the fullest!” 12) I'm not
sure if the following is THE MOST important quote to me, but it sure
underscores what keeps me going. "One
doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the
shore..." Andre Gide 13) "To
laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the
affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure
the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in
others, to leave the world a better place, whether by a healthy child, a garden
patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed
easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." Emerson
14) I'm
not sure of the author, but "She who laughs, lasts" has long been my
personal motto. :) 15) Here
is a quote that one of my professors in undergraduate gave me and I have
carried it around for a few years: "Kindness in words creates confidence.
Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving
creates love." Lao Tzu 16) The
best wisdom received was "worship life and
moments" a magnetic poem from my then 7 year old daughter. She's 18 years
old now, but I always remember that quote and try to practice that kind of
childlike mindfulness. 17) I have
learned two pieces of advice that are particularly valuable to me. First,
always go to the bathroom the moment you think you can and never pass up an
opportunity to try even if you think you can't. 18) "Get
an education!" 19) A
good leader doesn't get too invested in particular outcomes. Rather, a good leader trusts the process of
thoughtful collective decision-making and allows the wisdom of all involved to
determine the outcome. 20) My
father was my greatest mentor and I find myself quoting him often. One of his quotes which I frequently use is
“You can’t go back where you ain’t never been.” It is a reminder for me to be patient with
myself and/or others, and that the important thing is to be open to and seek
out learning, not to already “know it all.”
21) For
those of us who are perfectionists:
Don't fear mistakes in counseling others...mistakes create the best
opportunity for learning and interpersonal intimacy. 22) Mottos
I have lived by: "Seek truth (with love) and the truth shall set you
free." –Aristotle 23) The
following is wisdom that my first clinical supervisor shared with me and wisdom
that I have tried to continue to share with others, as it has served me well. In the context of supervision as I lamented
about the struggle I was having with a client’s difficulty understanding what I
was trying to tell her, my supervisor suggested the following: she told me that
I needed to "sit on a swing" with my client. As metaphor was a powerful tool she often
used, I sat with her suggestion and before my next session I really reflected
on what she meant. I realized that
"sitting on a swing" with my client would accomplish many things,
first it would enable (force?) me to see the world from where she was sitting -
her view, not mine; secondly, when I "sit on the swing" with a
client, we are next to each other - there is an intimacy that occurs, one that
I believe makes for a much more productive counseling relationship. So often, when I am struggling with
"making a client understand what I'm trying to
say," I recall that metaphor and try to move my position, from where I am
stuck to "sitting on the swing" with my client. Though I may not have the same grace and
skill my supervisor Diane Greenaway did when she gave me this powerful image, I
do wish for all of you "many moments on the swing.” |